Building Emotional Intelligence on Read With You Presents
Listen to the podcast here.
Gives kids tools to manage big emotions on a daily basis
Amy: I had a child that was having a lot of physical problems and the western medicine solutions weren’t working. I was introduced to alternative medicine after 8 years and started to see results. I was motivated to learn for myself and understand what was happening so I could maintain and sustain results. I went to school for healing sciences. As I learned how physical illness starts in our feelings and thoughts and manifests as tension, weakness or illness, I started to ask myself: why am I learning this as an adult? The things that mattered can be taught to children in a simple way, and can be taught to adults. There are a lot of places in life where we are stuck, causing us to react in a childlike way, because we never learned how to get past it.
What would you say to naysayers who don’t believe in energy medicine?
The energy field gives off a feeling. I try to talk about what I do and I hold that embodiment of what I know to be true. You’re not going to convince someone. I can’t come in trying to sell or convince, then I’m not standing in my own truth. I hold my own experience and I show how I can help. If what you’re trying isn’t working hen here’s something that can help.
What is emotional intelligence?
Most basic definition: the ability to recognize, understand and manage our own emotions, as well as influence the emotions of others from the place of compassion.
The way I work, I define it this way: be aware of emotions, track emotions in your body and identify and name those emotions so you can communicate them.
There’s the emotional level and the mental level. We hope that children can use that and make sense out of information. If there are a lot of struggles at home or on the playground and they have big emotions that they don’t know what to do with, t hey can’t learn. It happens as an adult too, until we can manage our emotions. In science it will explain how if we have fear, we can’t take in information and learn. If you’re feeling safe, the system opens, and you are able to learn. Kids have a lot of stress. If they feel safe they can learn and if they don’t, they can’t learn. So much is dependent on emotional intelligence.
How can we help children develop emotional intelligence?
Embody it ourselves, be the example. We understand it’s important to have our feelings. We have to show our kids our feelings so that they can do the same. It teaches them it’s not okay to feel your feelings if they don’t see us feel ours. It shows them that they can’t trust their feelings. The connection to ourselves and to perceive and sense things that aren’t obvious on the physical level. Having that connection to ourselves allows us to teach our children that.
What else have you learned working with kids?
I was able to teach kids from 4 year old up to 5th graders. The young kids would tune in when I said something that was clear. I asked is it okay to be mad. They said no. having the feeling was equated with the outcome. Take that forward: if I feel angry, I will be sent away. Humans don’t want to be alone. We learn that its not okay to feel that feeling, we need to teach them that it’s okay to feel that feeling. We feel our feelings. Start to show the kids what you’re feeling in your body. Start to differentiate the difference between feelings and behavior. That relationship to ourselves, we keep coming back to that. With the 5th graders, we talked about the power dynamic. I ask, have you ever been left out, and everyone raises their hands. Then I ask, have you ever left someone out. They get honest about it and then we get to have this honest conversation about why we do it, and the power dynamic. We’re trying to prove we’re important. That’s a thought not a truth. The feeling that comes along with that thought doesn’t feel good because it’s not truth. You can bring in healing by bringing in truth. You can make yourself heard by knowing that there’s support for you. Speak your truth, find someone to support you and choose to believe the truth instead of thoughts that aren’t true. If you get that as kids, you don’t have to try to get it from outside of you as a grownup. The way that we serve in this world is to come from a place that’s strong inside of us. If we know that we’re important, from that fullness, we can get our service out to the world.
Personal peace comes from a deep connection to who you are and your own worth. As kids we are constantly trying to figure out who we’re supposed to be. everyone needs to feel safe being who they are. Kids especially need to know that. Moms want to know how to do something better we empower our kids when we teach them this. This allows them to navigate their experience. My goals is to teach children and parents this ability.