Resilience is the ability to bounce back, to keep going when things are hard. As kids go off to college or away from home, many are struggling with the ability to handle the changes. Teaching our children resilience when they are young will help them to be more self reliant as they move out on their own.
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These tips come from Wendy Ulrich, PhD and Lyle J. Burrup, MSW in September 2019 Ensign.
1. Model good coping skills
How are we dealing with hard things in our lives? What are we showing our kids by our example about dealing with challenges?
2. Praise effort not just success
It's not just about the final product. We need to show our kids that we recognize their efforts.
When we do this, we are promoting a growth mindset and letting our kids know that what they did to get there is important. It can take away some of the fear of failure.
3. Praise more than you correct
As discussed in this podcast episode, give energy to the things our kids are doing right.
This helps them to be encouraged and know that they are on the right track.
4. Teach that mistakes and failures are part of life
How are we dealing with our kids failures, big and small?
5. Ask questions to help children solve their own problems
Instead of giving answers, give your children good questions.
Let them come up with solutions. Be there to support, not to solve.
6. Allow children to experience natural and logical consequences.
When we soften the blow and don't let kids see the consequences of their actions, we are doing them a disservice. On the other hand, if we are too harsh or the punishment doesn't fit the crime, we lose trust. As parents , we need to set logical consequences that teach and still allow our relationship to stay strong.
7. Help children be positive during hard times.
Teach your children coping skills. They can learn from a young age to focus on the positive and look for solutions, rather than looking at things negatively.
8. Give them opportunities to do hard things.
When our kids can try hard things they are building self reliance. They will learn from their mistakes and learn that they are able to do things on their own.